“According to the Buddha,” started Ajahn, “four qualities need to be present in a relationship for it to be successful: generosity, faith, good behaviour, and understanding. These qualities should be balanced, in other words, both partners should practise them, otherwise things won’t work. If they are balanced but weak, the relationship might last but will … More How to Make Your Relationships Work

“My acting teacher used to say that there were no small roles, only small actors,” said Ajahn. I had asked him about feeling undervalued. I said I always felt like I should be doing something big, something other than whatever I was doing. “I think the size of your action is irrelevant,” he continued. “What … More No Small Role

“Some people are obsessed with constantly reaching new heights, and they will not rest until they do, and then only briefly, because their discontent won’t let them.” We were talking about dissatisfaction and how it makes us run around looking for a way to end it. “In this anxiety to reach the summit, they fail to … More Don’t Be A Mountain Climber

“Ajahn,” I said, hands in anjali (prayer position), I have a question. Welcome to tea time, a 90-minute period during which the eight of us junior monks meet with our beloved Ajahn in a relaxed setting, at 4:30 every afternoon. It is a time for questions, for sharing, for news of any kind. I always … More Sugar-coated Cardboard

Already ten days as a monk. I am part of a nine-monk sangha, including our Ajahn (teacher). The generosity of the Thai people is what continues to impress me the most. Day after day, they get up early to cook for the monks and await our arrival in the village between 6:45 and 7:15. All … More A Slice of Life

“If you want to be happy, you have to learn to turn down the mind’s bait,” said Ajahn softly. We’d been talking about the effects of giving in to the mind’s desires. “The mind is a trickster, luring us with promises of happiness if we just follow this or that thought. The Buddha says we … More Turning Down The Mind’s Bait

“Why do you gesticulate so frantically when mosquitoes come close to you?,” asked Ajahn [teacher, in Pali]. “Well because the buzzing is annoying, and because they sting. They are annoying pests,” I replied. “So they disturb your peace, and you get angry?” he asked with a faint smile. I knew I was in trouble. “Well, … More Ajahn Mosquito, Part 2

“I think I’m a bit of a loser monk,” said Ajahn with a serious face, but not a hint of self-aversion. “What’s so bad about that? People always think they have to be the best at everything they do, and if they don’t get recognition from others, they get depressed. Me, I’ve never wanted to … More On The Fine Art Of Being A Loser

“I’m not sure that fighting for anything will produce much good,” said Ajahn. We were talking about taking action to make the world a better place. “Oppression, violence, injustice, environmental destruction, these things all come from greed, anger and other bad habits of mind. So if we want to change the world, we have to … More How to Change The World (And Find Inner Peace At The Same Time)

“I wonder what role the Christian premise of Original Sin plays in the Western epidemic of depression,” said Ajahn as we were walking down the street in the village. “In Thailand and other Buddhist countries, a human birth is a good thing because it gives an opportunity to work toward liberation. The Buddha taught that … More On Depression